Meet Amelia Anne

Meeting Amelia Anne: A father's continuing adventures

Inexpressible

When I first wrote down the areas I wanted to share in the blog, it rapidly became clear that there were some that were simply beyond my capacity to do justice to. I cannot yet resolve in my own head the mix of feelings I had during the labour, watching someone I loved so much do something so hard, so real, so painful, so solitary and yet so beautiful and magical, knowing I would happily trade places with her but never would be able to.

I will also never be able to fully express the joy and relief I had walking into the hospital room in Nyon to find my recovering wife and introducing her to her daughter. Suffice it to say, there were a lot of tears.

Happy Lucky Daddy

A couple of hours after Victoria was stretchered out of the birthing house our magnificent midwife let me know that she was out of theatre and doing fine, which allowed me to sleep a little. When Amelia and I woke up we made a few phone calls and face-timed some grandparents, I took this delightful picture of her all swaddled up and then I had an hour or two alone with my daughter. It occurred to me that I was a pretty lucky guy; how many dads get their child all to themselves in those first few hours? I asked myself what I should do with her. Well, we spent the next couple of hours getting acquainted with the Indigo Girls while I looked at her and laughed and cried at the same time. It was an odd feeling, and one Victoria and I have struggled to articulate, some peculiar combination of joy, gratitude, relief, delight and love, all expressed in this peculiar wet-faced braying.

When I catch V staring at Amelia and crying I know exactly how she feels. It's some raw emotion.

Just Read the Manual

Haynes manuals are great. For non-British folk out there, they are the accepted authority on vehicles of any make or age, a comprehensive set of instructions on how to dismantle, repair and reassemble your vehicular friend. I bet the mechanics down at my local Ferrari garage still refer to their battered copy of 'The F430' when taking apart Herr Schumacher's pride and joy. A quick glance at the internet reveals the breadth of service to which the good people at Haynes have driven themselves. As soon as my battered Corellian freighter needs its hyperdrive realigning, that Millennium Falcon Workshop Manual will surely save me from costly services. Sadly, Amelia didn't come with one, so we're having to work it all out for ourselves. Now, I can't complain at all as she's been a first rate addition to Team Denton so far. She generally only cries when she's hungry or covered in poo, and sleeps a good few hours between feeds. However, when I was left babysitting all by myself during her first week (or 'parenting' as Mrs D calls it) I found myself briefly in need of expert advice. "How long should you let a week old baby cry if you

know she's been recently fed and has a clean nappy?", I asked myself. Well, I didn't know, so not having the relevant Haynes manual I referred myself to the second source of all knowledge: the internet.

Well, I stumbled into a confusing world of conflicting advice. Any of you with children will already be aware of this, but for the yet-to-be initiated, every conceivable position on every single aspect of parenting is firmly held by someone with access to a webpage or publisher. It was best summarised by this blog. I should let her cry it out, clearly, and she would learn to soothe herself this way, and it would definitely scar her for life. I should absolutely pick her up to soothe her and rock her to sleep, unless I wanted to create a dangerous dependency.

This was a useful lesson: NEVER ASK THE INTERNET FOR PARENTING ADVICE!!! I can only assume that from the maelstrom of despair and inadequacy it engendered that I had stumbled across 'the dark web.'

Thankfully, a good friend who's children I know and like came round. Seeing as she evidently knew what she was doing she was able to advise me. Apparently I needed to 'calm down.' I should also feel free to let visiting mums cuddle my adorable child. Also, sometimes babies are hungry off-schedule. I guess Amelia hasn't read the manual. When she gets around to it, I recommend this  one...