Theology vs reality

A friend of mine is having a tough time at the moment. Her friends' son died last weekend. He was 18 months old. He went to sleep one night with a regular looking case of chicken-pox and just never woke up. Turns out he had some kind of streptococcal infection as well. This poor family are still reeling from this, as well as coping with the long term illness of their other child. In all of this, my friend called me, just to vent, to weep, to talk to someone. I listened, I told her I'd pray. I had o real comfort for her in the immediacy of her pain.

I've been reading a lot about suffering lately. I led a small group session on 'why there is suffering in the world' so I had to bone up. I read St Thomas Aquinas, C S Lewis and various other great thinkers. I have, currently, at my mental fingertips, more of the answers on this topic than I have ever had. I could have said that our concept of evil and unjustness points to an objective standard of goodness and justice; that a world without suffering would not allow us to learn courage, humility, grace and other virtues; I could have said that it will all be OK if you just take the long view, the eternal perspective. I could have said this, and yet, and yet...

None of it would have helped.

Now, I cannot begin to fathom the agony of this family. I feel for them, for their grief and turmoil must dwarf anything I have ever gone through, and I hesitate to even begin to compare my troubles to theirs, but here's what I've found in my limited experience. In the middle of pain, theology hasn't helped me. My friends help a little, my church helps a lot, but my God, the Jesus who loves me, the Holy Spirit who fills me with peace, calm, strength and joy gets me though the toughest of times that I have had to face. The theology, all that study stuff in between the tough times, maybe that lays good foundations for the tough times, but when the storm rages nothing reaches the parts others don't like the Almighty Himself.

Even more so, it helps just knowing he's been through so much more than I can fathom; the pain of crucifixion and the agony of separation from the Father's love that had always surrounded him. He's been there, he gets it. It gives him a the validity to get inside my pain with me. I can only hope this helps when I have to deal with something as agonising as losing a child. I guess that's what faith is

For those keeping me accountable, this week I managed to dig my bible out twice. I'll keep trying. How are you all doing out there? Please, comment and follow if you can.

Much love,

Rob